我想要的是什么啊？

我想要的是什么呢？

24/12/2011 下午，收到了阿维弟弟的信息
说，如果雨停了去喝茶
有东西要给我
那时候的我·很开心
珍惜的希望雨能够停下来
让我们有机会可以去喝茶
不是因为他要给我什么
真的只是想要跟我这个弟弟见面，因为他很快要去当兵了
哪里知道，长命雨
到了深夜雨还下不停
然后就约好了25/12/2011早上见面
还好，雨停了
让我们有机会见面
收到了迟来的礼物，谢谢弟弟
你知道吗，我们两的信息我还舍不得删除呢
想想，我们两个也真的很久没有一起喝茶了
怀念那时候的我们
不只是阿维弟弟，阿胜弟弟也有信息我
真的开心

20/12/2011 下午， YQ阿弟约了我到BPMALL
说是要拿生日礼物给我
很开心的说，哪里知道他忘了带
就跟他两个在那里闲逛
其实，没有失望的感觉
反而觉得开心
因为还以为我们两个的关系疏远了
可是那天的我们，不懂怎么说
就觉得开心
这个弟弟又要回到sabah读书咯
可能要等到明年农历新年才可以见面咯

其实我真的很不知道自己想要的是什么了
以前的我
想要他们都跟我很好很好
但是过了一段时间，我们的关系开始疏远了
好一段时间因为这样感觉难过
然后学者去放弃
我成功了，不去太过管他们
学者不去想那么多
我也做到了
有了这三个弟弟
其实我真的很开心
虽然感觉有一点元
但是知道我们心中都还在乎对方，这样就应该足够了吧？
哈哈

另外，我想家了
虽然不是第一次，但是还是会想
但是，自己又不想大学生后是那么郁闷的
选者了参加活动
不知道自己要的是什么。。。
管他的，开心就好吧

还有那个你
你知道我真的在乎你对我的态度吗？
希望你也真的在乎我
就如我在乎你
可以不说出来
但是希望我能够真的感觉到
也希望你能够感觉到吧
p/s不是男女关系哦
就这样吧。你开心就好。

弟弟，你们要加油哦。晚安啦。

觉得自己很幸福

几天没有来了
今天是我在BP的最后一天
明天又要回到金宝了
时间过得好快啊
一个礼拜就这样过了
在家里真的很好啊
不用想太多
凡事都有妈妈在
这感觉真的很好

有读过我的部落格的
因该都知道我爸爸
在几年前就过世了吧
说真的
我们家真的很幸福
因为有个伟大的妈妈
我们，孩子需要的他不会少给我们

比如说两年前
妈妈答应说要买laptop给我
spm成绩出来了，他也真的卖给我
然后，考完stpm了
我说要到金宝读书
他不会多问
也不会给我们太多压力
只是希望我们会照顾自己
然后今年的生日，我说要买相机
他也没说什么，真的就买了给我

这次回来，妈妈知道我在家时间不多
所以就带了我去买新年衣服
哪里知道，走了几小时也买不到
伤心啊
今天妈妈又带我去买了鞋子
选了一双价钱还可以的
真的很开心
但是也有一点过意不去
spm和stpm过后因为有做工
所以买衣服什么还可以用自己的钱
这次到了金宝
上了大学，只是会跟妈妈要钱
真的觉得自己在浪费钱啊
怎么办啊？
我要做工
想要减轻妈妈的负担啦。。。
希望回到金宝面试会成功
打工打工
至少可以帮妈妈
加油啊！！！
长大了。。。

rumours

trust me

the sharpest weapon in the world is none other than 

the MOUTH of HUMAN BEING

not even one carnivore animal in this earth can compare with it

a carnivore animal

the most it can do is eat you up

time for you to suffer from pain is not really that long

compare to the MOUTH of HUMAN BEING

it can make one suffer for a life time

rumours go around

一传十，十传百

this is so true

and rumours caused one to be physically and mentally disturbed

not for a short time

can be throughout the life time

to deal with rumours

the most effective way is to face it

dont have to do much explanation

just let it spread

lead your own life

these will stop by it own

face it steadily

they will got boring someday

everything gonna be fine by then

i am who i am

i have my own principle of life

i know what i want

i know what to do 

i know myself well

these are a few things that we should know 

all the best people

people do gossip

please dont let these rumours affect your life

if this rumour affected you,

those people won the game

never let them win, the only way is never let rumour affect you

^^

i live my life

i loving it

i enjoy it

everything is gonna be fine^^

life with choices,unknown...

see the roads in the picture above?
actually i got the idea of this post in the morning..
after seeing a few post from my seniors who are graduating soon
well,
i dont have much chance to get to know them though
just merely virtual friends in FB
and we only get to meet face to face once in a while in campus
dont know whether they recognized me or not
their posts make feel a little bit upset and emo >.<

from the poem - the road not taken
life is full with choices to be made
full with unknown to be experienced
different choice that we had made
lead us into different experience in life
it also moulded us to different kind of person

for me
i made a decision after my form 5
i decided to enter form 6
well, this decision i made
kinda make me felt a little regret when i came into university
i realised that many of those at my age are already my senior
because they took up foundation instead
at the same time
i realised that form 6's life leave me with lot of wonderful memories too
this make me realised that
i have to appreciate what i had have experienced

is time for me to enter university
although it is kinda late compare to those already in year2 at my age
i still enjoy my life here
i wonder whether i will regret or not
well
i think i should have been glad that i am able to be here
^^
shouldnt have regret for what i had decided
instead of regretting, i should enjoy my life to the fullest
time flies
i guess everyone know this
i think is my turn to graduate real soon
haha
by that time
i think i will be crying real hard >.<
thinking so far
dont know what is the use
i think it act just a reminder for me
to actually appreciate what i have had^^
all the best people

appreciate and enjoy whatever had decided
no point to regret over it
^^
enjoy it to the fullest
when you look back
you wont feel regret at all

we live only once
take the time to enjoy is much more better to regret
life is just too short for us to feel regret

last paper in my 2nd semester...

last saturday
17/12/2011
sat for the last paper in this semester
INTRODUCTION TO JAPANESE

i had been wanting to learn this language since i were young then
never thought that i do have this chance to learn up something
well, i really learned up only something due to the syllabus
and also the duration,only 7weeks to learn this language

well, as i mentioned
this is my last paper
i dont have the mood to do any revision on the previous day (friday)
just memorise some of the part that sensei and kaipeng gor told me is important
and also practised my hiragana and katakana

saturday morning
should start our paper at 9am and end at 11am
dont know what had happened
the paper was delayed for 40minutes

i tried my best to do every part of the question
but when i see the clock struck 11am
i gave up 2 parts which contain 20marks
because i need to pack my luggage and rush for bus at 1pm
this is the first time i get off from the examination hall earlier after so many major exam
UPSR,PMR,SPM,STPM....

really kind of rush...
without lunch and dinner
rushed from kampar to kl
then kl to bp
wow...a smooth journey although it rain along the way
there end my day
marking the end of my second semester in my first year degree

*i miss someone*

my personal problem?

gonna sit for my last paper tomorrow
which means my second semester in university life comes to an end
i should feel happy because i got to go back home for a week
although i am having 4weeks break >.<
due to activities
have to back kampar much more earlier than the others
i should be happy dont i?
but what is i my heart
what is in my mind
i dont know
i cant understand myself well
i still couldnt make it
although i had been telling myself that i have to

having mixed feeling this few days
i dont know why
i been telling myself to be independent
not to rely on others too much
dont be dependent
as no one can really stay by your side every second of the days
people do have their own things to deal with
but why i still cant get it

i dont know what kind of person am i
is this my own problem
or everyone facing the problem i am facing
this question pop out in my mind
'what are friends?'
'who are your friends?'
'what do friends do?'


i hate to be a loner
i dont like it
i really dont like it


yesterday went to ipoh for half day trip with a bunch of friends
they give me the feeling of friends
yet i still have that kind of mixed feeling
because i feel like being neglected by the person that i really care


oh my god
i learn this in REBT last sem
i should change this mind set of mine right?
mixed feeling
hope after meeting with that someone i can be better
but i have to control my mood
have to really control it
be strong
be positive
be cool

流星雨的夜晚。。。

昨天从图书馆回家的时候
走在路上
突然天黑了
雨开始下起
在雨中走着
心情不怎么好的说
到了家洗澡好了就出门了
买了啤酒到朋友家
一整天没有吃东西得我
开了啤酒就往肚子里吞
朋友都骂我，说这样会很容易醉
真的
差点醉了
过后陪另一个朋友吃晚餐


然后回到了朋友家
继续温习功课
也没有忘了我买的酒
继续喝酒。。。
读者读者
我们大家做起了瑜伽
玩玩闹闹
读书读书
时间过得很快
12点了
流星要出现了
我们浩浩荡荡的走到了篮球场
躺在地上望着天空
看到了一片片厚厚的乌云
‘心里祈祷着，这是我第一次看流星。可以不要有乌云吗？’
时间过着
乌云也还在
因为高峰时间是2点
我们一群朋友就坐在那里
唱着‘朋友’ ‘浪花一朵朵’ ‘小酒窝’ 
心情突然又再一次低落


趟了好久
还是没有看到
流星
决定回家了
昨晚喝了不少的啤酒
有点轻飘飘的
>.<
今天早上起床第一件事就是
我肚子饿了啦
>.<


虽然没有看到流星
可能是个人问题
但是我心里的祈祷
好像被听到了
昨天的月亮好美
星空也算不错
星星算多的
所以，我也许了几个愿
’希望你开心‘
’希望考试顺利‘
’希望健健康康‘
’希望我在乎的都平平安安‘

你是白目啊？？？

真的不知道自己在想什么
已经很明显了
你只不过是他的普通朋友
嘴巴讲的
都只是讲罢了
算了算了算了


在图书馆
现在的我心情超级烂

读不进
烦
不开心
自己很生气自己
很想打自己
呐喊
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

可以不要这样吗？

陈宗元
你真的很严重
可以控制自己的心情不？
为什么那么喜欢做那些你不想要做的事呢？
很无言啊
做了才来后悔
有个屁用啊？
可以不要这样了吗？
很开心啊？
你是傻的啊？
真的是
有时候相死了更加好
一了百了
。。。

我想说。。。

我想说

谢谢你们

那些关心我的朋友

谢谢你们在我的身边出现过

谢谢你们让我的生活精彩

谢谢你们带给我的笑容

谢谢你们让我感觉到温暖

我想说

谢谢你们

那些表面上是朋友的你们

谢谢你们出现过

我不会因为你们的离去而难过

因为你们

让我能够分清楚谁才是真的朋友

谢谢你们让我更加勇敢

不怕被伤害

也学会了怎样去对带他人

谢谢你们的离去

让我更加懂得珍惜还在身边的他们

谢谢

忙碌的时光

让我不会感觉寂寞

谢谢寂寞的时候

让我懂得更加珍惜我所拥有的快乐

人生

起起落落

高潮低潮

快乐悲伤

欢乐寂寞

酸甜苦辣

这就是人生吧

懂得珍惜

懂得惜福

懂得感恩

懂得知足

这样才能够过的开心

我没有。。。

我没有很伤心
只不过
是有一小点的难过
加上一小点的失望罢了
也许我没有什么好说的
也许这就是你对待人的方式吧
只是我太天真了
希望太多了
所以
不知不觉的又失望了
复杂的心情
开心认识你
却有种觉得难过的感觉
好复杂哦
你几时才回来呢？
买了什么礼物给我
有所期待
但却要告诉自己
不要期待太多
到时候不知开心或难过
好悲观哦

陈宗元，不要那么悲观啦

下午就要考试了
大家加油
吃早餐咯
拜拜。。。

你们好！！！

四天没来了
有没有想我啊？
哈哈
在自己的部落格上自恋
无言。。。

其实也没什么好说的
哥哥他回去家乡了
这几天的我
都在跟一群朋友温习功课
考试要到了
开始害怕了
我们真的有在温习哦
但是
人是活得
也不能够24小时抱着书本读书吧
哈哈

所以我们
在温习的时候也不忘了享受人生
我们一起吃晚餐
一起聊八卦
一起谈心事
一起做蛋糕
一起玩闹
哈哈
但是请相信我们真的有在读书哦
哈哈

这是我从来没有过的生活
以前的我都是
一个人死读书
觉得现在这感觉真的不错哦
哈哈
谢谢你们哦

今天要选时间表
也代表这学期就要结束了
烦恼
因为离家很远
想说如果能够排到不错的时间表
我还可能可以回去家乡看看的
但是
结果还是
难啊！！！！！
下个学期不知道会有多少机会回家看看
算了啦
自己选者的
读完它
没有回家
就利用这个机会来做些能够让自己开心的事咯
惨了啦
我这个自恋狂
哈哈
在这三年的大学生活
我不行要做个小人物
但是还是需要更加多的信心

加油啦大家^^

对不起
我不想要你对我有所误会
也不想给你任何希望
因为不可能
所以我选者狠下心
我们不是朋友
不要再有是没事信息我

心情7上8下的。。。

早上起床后才突然发现
自己竟然睡在电脑前面
>.<'''

时间过得好快
不知不觉的
来了金宝大半年了
三年的学期已经过了6个月
这短短的6个月
发生了好多好多啊
回想起来心情就变得7上8下了

这个学期
我参加了大学的RCM
认识了新的朋友
开始了另一个新的生活？？？
好像没有
哈哈

这个学期太多的起起伏伏
自己也低落过一阵子

我发现我还是我
没有变得我
讨厌自己的我
有时候也搞不明自己要的是什么

想要跟很多人道歉
尤其是那些真的关心我的人
对不起

我自己本人很喜欢把对其他人的关心
放在嘴里
也很清楚的说
不是每个人都有跟我一样的习惯
但是就是改不了胡思乱想的习惯
喜欢把自己搞到很可怜
把一切的事想到很不好
好比说我刚刚认识的brother一样
我们的关系很好
最近的他很忙
明明知道他很忙
但是不堪寂寞得我，在一个人的时候
就会开始想着他是不是在逃避我呢
然后越想越多
才来emo个几天
笨蛋

谢谢brother，我知道也感觉到你对我的好
还有关心
谢谢

不只是brother，还有一些朋友
Wendy，meixuan, .................................
太多了
不知不觉的
我们认识也有半年时间了
对不起，有时候幼稚得我让你们哭笑不得
谢谢你们
在我难过的时候会叫我不要胡思乱想
没有你们
我大学的生活可能就不那么精彩了

我想要认识全部人
我想要跟大家都做朋友
我想要大家都能够一起有个精彩的大学生活
我说过的
我不喜欢寂寞
不喜欢一个人的时候
所以，朋友们
你们是我人生中不能缺少的一部分
希望以后的日子
我们都能够开开心心的

还有，这个学期
真的谢谢brother的照顾
希望我们能够永远都有那么好的关系

还有谢谢妈妈没有反对我来金宝念书
知道你在家也会担心我
我会努力让你为了我感到骄傲的
你也要好好的照顾自己得健康哦
还有mummy&daddy
等我毕业哦

考试时期又到了
大家在加油的当儿
不要忘了照顾好自己的健康哦
一起加油吧！！！

谢谢你们^^
听听这首歌

真的是。。。开心哦。。

今天的我很无聊咯。。。
没有上课的日子，我还真的不习惯

今天特地跑到学校去
因为在家真的很无聊。

在学校就跟朋友聊天
没有读到书
哈哈

今天也算开心
因为心情好了
发现到我们都没有变
还是一样那么好
就可能偶尔忙碌
哈哈

今天也差点被kaipeng哥气死掉
告诉过他了
有什么活动可以找我
我很乐意参与
我不喜欢木纳的生活
可是他。。。
竟让等到别人叫他问我
他才来问。。
但是我知道为什么你那么做啦
害怕我。。。。。。。。。
没关系的
我参加活动是为了学习新的东西
不是。。。。。。。。。。
我不需要避开。。。。。
真的。。
谢谢哥来找我加入那个活动。。
开心到。。哈哈。。
希望真的可以拿到那个职位
真的想要学习点什么。哈哈。。

没有主题

其实也不知道想要写什么
心里突然觉得好空虚
开始胡思乱想了起来
寂寞啊
尝试着告诉自己说
没事的
自己想太多了
不去想他就没事了
但是
怎么了
因为已经长大了的我
感觉又再一次的回到了过去的那个我呢？
不想要这样啦

告诉过了自己
要学会独立
过自己一个人的生活
但是
每一次都好像失败了
过不了自己
没有安全感的我
对自己好没有信心
害怕是自己的问题
让每个人都离我而去

想说
我的社交范围因该没有很小
但是为什么
每次寂寞的时候
孤单的时候
想不到
到底我能够找谁呢
我真的不知道

要开心
要开心
要开心
只能够对自己说着。。。
要开心

开心吧我的心。。。

what is with me?

20岁了的我
很开心
因为认识了一群朋友
他们约好了提早帮我庆祝生日
知道你们准备了有点辛苦
尤其是wendy，还要忙着presentation的讨论
买礼物，买蛋糕
真的谢谢你们了。
没有照片，全部在cecilia和steve那里
等他们upload吧
真的很开心
谢谢 wendy,steve,meixuan,cecilia,ahkheong,cassie,junxia,roy
然后还要谢谢kaipeng ah gor,auntie cailey特地打电话跟我说生日快乐
谢谢你们
过后就是sam,louis,jonathan,moon
刚好他们也在吃着夜宵，也跟我说了那四个字
哈哈。谢谢你们。

20岁的早上
谢谢kaipeng ah gor 陪我去吃早餐
心情有一点点emo地说
我真的不想啦
想开了，没事了，开心了。
。。。
上课啦。。。
谢谢steven teh在讲堂里面公告全天下
今天（30/11）是我的生日
然后，全班了为我唱生日歌
谢谢啦
回到家，等kaipeng ah gor的电话
约好了吃晚餐，然后去吃蛋糕的。。。
哪里知道，蛋糕没得吃到
因为ah gor有meeting还有要教人家数学
真的有一点难过，失望
但是还是要谢谢ah gor昨天的那顿晚餐
回到家
白痴的我又开始emo了起来
很早就睡了
陆陆续续的收到很多的信息
真的谢谢你们的祝福

还有要谢谢tianeu,特地抽空成下课的时候
从germany打电话给我
谢谢你
还有一个在面子书上认识的一个弟弟
很有心哦
打电话给我，但是对不起
我在睡觉
没听到。。。哈哈。。。

谢谢大家的祝福
我爱你们

我20岁了哦。。。
加油吧自己

i love my mum!!!

have not been here for a few days
finally i went back to BP last weekends
although is only a short trip back
but i am really happy to be able to see my family members

well,i shall start telling part of the story of my family
will make it short and simple ^^

have to start when i am form 3,year 2006
well,a tough year for my family  guess
my father was ill
seriously ill in the beginning of the year
after several months of in and out from hospital
he was diagnosed to have lung cancer
and soon he passed away
because he cant withstand the chemotherapy
and the cancerous cells had started to spread
till his brain
it took less than a year
and throughout this period of time
my mum, a wonder woman i should said
had never left my father
she accompany my father to JB to undergo treatment
almost everything by her own
even though she were not familiar with the place at all
is hurt for me to see her being like this
she had been strong even after knowing my father's condition
in my memory,she had never shed a tear
until the day my father had to be sent for cremation

5 years passed
till now
my mum still as strong as before
and she is trying hard to get along with us
you know what
although i wont say out,but deep in me,i love my mum a lot
she had been always trying to fulfil our needs
thanks mum.

thanks mum for allowing me to buy this as my birthday present for this year..
i will remember what i had promised
your expectation will be my motivation^^

*wishing*

please stop

can you please stop raining?
although i like the cold wind out there
but i dont need you crying for few hours
please be strong enough to carry your tears
is ok that you cried once in a while
not too long please
you ruined everyone's plan
especially when people got no other transports
other than bike or bicycle =.=

i like this feeling

okie
let me start the blog from the morning
sorry if you think this is a bored one

2 presentations for today
well, i dont usually rehearse for presentation
same goes to this 2
><
woke up kinda early
instead of cycling and riding scooter
i decided to walk
thought it is the best idea as the weather in the morning is cool
although i sweat like hell after i reached campus
still i enjoy walking alone
maybe i should try to walk more if possible
haha
nothing much for the presentation part
just hope that my marks wont be too low

5pm tutorial class
is really a cool one
only 4 person included me attended
well,before the tutor came in
we were actually chatting
p&c
from that particular conversation i learnt a lot from my friends
you guys enlightened me as well as what DR KOK mentioned in lecture class earlier then
and also
this particular friend,only got to know in this semester
i mean talk to each other more
kind of great to hear those words from you
you make my day
at least i felt appreciated
should buck up more TAN ZONG YAN
haha
walk home alone in the evening
so glad that it doesnt rain
i am lucky
and i know YOU love me
enjoyed the scenery, how much i wish i can have a DSLR
hoping for it

lastly at night
guess what i did
tada....
this is what i did
for 2 special friends cum buddy that i got to know recently
hope they will like it
only half way done
haha ~~~
okie then
shall stop here.
good night^^

how long can i still withstand with this?

i am tired
i dont know why
the same things
are repeating in my life
it had been a few years
and this particular thing
happened from time to time

maybe i should start this when i am in form4

started to know what is care

started to know how to concern others

i showed my care to few juniors

at the beginning

everything seems to be fine

nothing went wrong

we eat,we chat,we laugh,we hang out

we have so much fun

until a day when school counselor came to see me

i really broke down and cried on the particular day

in front of my counselor

that stop me from caring on others

till the year when i am in lower 6

someone came to me

again

things went smoothly

we get along very very well

the same thing happened

we eat,we chat,we laugh,we hang out

we have fun

until one day

people started to get bored over same thing?

wondered

we stop contact

again, i am emo

LOL

not long after that

about a year when i am in upper 6

someone shows care and concern on me

we soon get along well

we have so much fun together

so much laughter

so much caring and concern

time flies

about a month

i am being dumped at aside

wow

amazing

i am in U life now

thought that people get matured

thinking shall not be so naive

but i am still the same

the naive one

thinking that it is the best to show your care and concern to people around you

as long as they appreciate and treat you well too

not to expect too much

here come this person

we know each other from FB at the first place

we chat although we dont meet

still

i got that person a birthday present

because i were told that 

the particular person havent receive any present before

thought of 

it is going to bring laughter to him/her

same thing happen

i am being ignored

this is not the end

i met a particular person almost at the same time

well,i felt being concerned and cared

thought this might be due to my care and concern to others too

well

good thing doesnt last long

soon,i were being accused again

the same accusation that i met with when i am in form4 by then

is hurt

is painful

i am alone

try to just be alone

to be independent

no one can actually messed up my life

till i met with this person

description same as above mentioned

i am happy

thought i had found someone that can be my

comrade

in the end

i still have to stand on my feet

get back to the life

where i used to be

alone

being ignored

withdraw myself from all possibilities of being cared and concerned

shouldnt put too much hope in others

especially when you really care for that person

we will leave one day

just the matter of time

soon or later

how long can i still withstand this?

i dont know

please dont show me care and concern if you are fake

i would rather you treat me badly that i wont feel sad.

不想要回到以前的我

今天的我特别早起床
因为昨晚的我特别早睡

今天的我起床
发现外头下雨了
想要出去淋雨的感觉又来了
但是不行
不能够生病

以前的我
都只是想着怎样对人家好
但是常常忘了
怎样去对自己好
最后都是自己
一个人寂寞，受伤首场
好不容易才学会对他人说‘不’
好不容易才放下其他人
说好对自己好一点

但是怎么了
现在的我
好像回到了以前的我
再次感觉到了寂寞，受伤

陈宗元
自己一个人也可以不寂寞的
加油
考试要到了
把握时间读书，考到好成绩才是最重要的

陈宗元，
记得自己的本性
对人家好是你的优点
不要去在意别人是怎样看你的
也不要要求任何的回报
量力而为就好
加油!!!

blogging time

where should i start...
continue yesterday post

after back from MCD
7 something in the morning
guess what
i am having class at 9am
rush to print out the assignment
which caused me to have a sleepless night
bath and prepared myself for class
didnt even have time for me to have my breakfast
took a few packet of biscuits along


-----class-----
today's class was so special
our beloved lecturer, dr kok revise some of the thing we had studied
then come our beloved tutor
MISS LEE
she is a dedicated tutor i can say
she try to do what she can just to help we,as a student
dr kok and ms lee had a role-play of real counselling session
she plays as a client and dr kok as counselor
miss lee shared part of her real life story she had gone through
while listening to the counseling session
i think i can really understand how miss lee felt when she is trying to get through
almost cried out >.<
being too sentimental
or can i say that i am showing empathy towards client?
-----end-----

nothing much to describe about the class
but i did learnt a lot from there
thanks miss lee and also dr kok

rush to hand in assignment then went to briefing for 3 O's project
back home to put something
rushed to BEAUTIFUL GATE
-----working in progress-----
-----cleaning in progress-----
-----decorating in progress-----
the weather didnt cooperate with us
it rain
so one of our activity to bring people there to play at the park failed
but still hope that they enjoy what we had planned for them
celebrating birthday with 3 of them
a very big THANKS to my friend, mojo for sponsoring the birthday cakes
really grateful to you
hoping that 好人有好报
all the best to you

brought them to VEGAS for dinner
my first time there
looking at them eating ><
thanks jennifer for sharing half of her order with me
for your information, i got no time for lunch
almost die of hunger
after dinner brought KP home to put his camera
then back to my home with KP,after bath we went to tesco
as he wanted to buy things
then both of us went mamak at 10++ for dinner
haha
end of the day
i am tired but i am happy
hoping that KP can faster upload all the photos in his camera

last 48hours i just sleep for 4hours
this is so amazing as i last did this days when we are having camp in school
^_^
thanks for reading

once in a while

i like this few pictures a lot.
taken all this yesterday,thursay morning 17/11/2011.
at time 7am outside kaipeng's house.
while waiting,dont know what to do
so take photo.haha

this one taken about half an hour ago.
morning of 18/11/2011
location - mcd kampar,perak
due to deadline of assignment
i am here with 2 friends from different faculty
rushing finish assignment and presentation here
isnt it weird?
well,kaipeng already back home
left jayremy and me
i am glad that i done mine
pitiful jayremy
still rushing even though he is hungry
not like me
so free taking photo

just to say, i woke up for about 24hours already
first time in this semester.
haha.

afternoon after class got event.
awaiting for it
just kind of afraid that i might not have the energy to play with them
haha
semiconcious now^^

why is this happening to me again?

people are not perfect
including me
i tried to act on my own way
people speak bad about you at the back
i tried to accommodate others
people dont appreciate
again they chosen to speak at your back again
people are hard to please
no matter how well
how hard you had been trying
there are still excuses for them to condemn on your hard work
this is just too sickening

you may call me the active one
i dont like to wait for others
because most of you are too passive
ask for ideas you will just say is ok
hell you
after saying OK then just followed what is being told to do
if you dont like it
voice it and discuss over it
explain it, persuade others with your reasons
you didnt
you didnt even voice up your opinion
you didnt tried to persuade me
i mean at least stop me from doing things that might affect you
at least give me some explanation and we discuss over it
you didnt
afraid of losing in reasoning?
looking down at me,feel lazy to care,to bother?
whatever that you would like to think
is all up to you
you failed to voice out you failed to grab the opportunity to change the situation
you yourself to blame for giving the chance to fly away
you cant blame on anyone else
you got no right to say who is right and who is wrong

is kind of like
you make me really disappointed
whatever it is
you act in your way
and i will continue with my own
go ahead and speak whatever you would like to do
friendship is hard to maintain
well,you can choose to give up
but i will not let you affect my mood or my life from now on
friend, you are just my friend
i shall now categories my friends into different level of importance to me
and you shall be one of the basic one
very normal friend or even a 'hi/bye' friend


all the best.

middle of the night

the benefit of sleeping early

is that you were able to wake up early too

wake up in the middle of the night

the weather in kampar is the greatest

in day time,it will be damn hot

in middle night

you can just switch off the fan

and feel the cold breeze out there

the weather is just nice

gonna start doing assignment

yet i am slacking 

blogging and watching drama

^_^

in the middle of the night

although is kind of relaxing

yet something troubling me

~story begin~

i met with lot of people in life

i met with all sorts of people

i met with girls and boys

i met with introvert and extrovert

i met with generous and selfish

i met with open-minded and closed-minded

i met with caring and dont bother people

all sorts

people always think that i got a lot of friends

i will not feel lonely

but from time to time

things always repeating

i am glad that i have got the chance to meet with people

especially those who actually care for me

i really appreciate everyone of you in my life

your attendance in my life actually brighten up my life

and also makes me feel grey from time to time

wondering when can i actually get over all this

...grandmother's story...

just wanna say that i started to feel distance after sometimes with those i really care for

i really close to

from one of my friend,he mentioned to me that distance between 2 person make one feel secure

maybe it is true

maybe 

i shall just believe in this statement

i shall just keep some distance from everyone to prevent myself from being hurt

buck up!!!

今天的我

不知道是不是太累了
今天的我
用atm进电话钱过后
竟然忘了
要拿atm卡
什么啦
是不是太累了呢
怎么那么健忘呢
真实的
好在有人拿了卡去到了银行
谢谢你们
好心人

今天的我
上课好不专心
都在打瞌睡
好差点就真的睡下去了
真实的
好想骂自己

今天的我
有一点郁闷
跟朋友的关系
最近好像
不怎么好的说
有点开始感觉孤单
有点寂寞了
是我的问题吗？
我也不知道也

今天的我
一个人
在家吃块熟面当晚餐
怎么了呢？
今天的我
比起前几天的我
感觉是两个人
有点点失落
><

开始要赶报告了
这个星期五就要交上去了
要快要快
陈宗元
收拾好心情加油吧

我爱我自己

i am taking japanese language this semester.

having quiz on week 2,3 and also my midterm on week 4.

actually i am still kind of blur.

dont really know what i am learning.

today got back all the marks for the quizzes and also midterm.

the marks will be converted into 20%.

guess what,i actually got 19.5.

kind of happy.

today also had my first presentation in japanese.

oh my god.

i didnt really prepare for it.

only got to know this last friday.

got no mood to prepare at all.

and i think we are in a mess yet we manage to finish it smoothly.

got some compliment from our tutor.

hoping that our group can actually score well in this assignment.

another 20%. 

all the best people.

我有很多很多小秘密。。。

我的人生中
发生了好多好多事情
有很多很多的秘密
没有什么人真的认识我
因为很多很多都不知道我的故事

这些故事
让我感觉到幸福
同时也让我感觉到
心如刀割的滋味

这些故事让我成长了很多
虽然大家可能
都会觉得我还很想小孩子
长不大
幼稚，爱开玩笑
想知道为什么吗...

理由是
我被伤害过
被别人也被自己伤害过
我难过过
失落过

现在的我
选择过着这样的生活
为了让自己开心
更加爱护自己

最后我觉得要有资格去爱别人`
首先要学会怎么样去爱自己
那么该怎样去学会爱自己呢？
也许，在学会爱自己之前
一个人因该要懂得
那个没人爱的感觉吧。。。

听听这个音乐吧。。。
甜甜的。。。

我要学会感恩。。。

刚才
我再一次的去到了美门
这是我第三次到那里
看到他们
真的开心
虽然不知道该跟他们说些什么
但是
就觉得很平静
很舒服
很开心
看着他们拿着我的手机
玩游戏，拍照
开心的笑的时候
我也笑了
没有为什么
很自然
没有伪装
谢谢你们，有机会
我会在过去看你们的

                                                                                                                                                                        


我是一个敏感的人
因为过去发生过的一些事情
让我觉得对自己有点没自信
我喜欢交朋友
认识新的朋友
对每一段友谊
都抱着一种期望
希望能够是永远的好朋友
但是
往往结局都会是一样的
人与人之间
太过在乎
表示失去的也会很快
别人眼里可能都觉得
我的交际很好
但是
我只能够说
你们看到的都是表面罢了
也许你们都会觉得
我很外向
我只能够说
那一切都是表面上你们所能够看到的罢了
。。。
最近又认识了一个新朋友
关系还算不错
但是这段友谊
我会选择
保持距离
因为不想要有误会
不想要失去朋友
这也算是
我对于这段友谊的考验
如果距离会让我们变成了陌生人
那么我们可能就真的是没有缘分做朋友
如果真的是这样
我还是会感恩
因为让我认识过你。

11.11.11

almost everyone in FB are talking about this
to me
i dont find it really special
just that it really need to wait for a long time
for this combination
well, is that why people are celebrating this day?
maybe

how do i celebrate?
...
didnt celebrate at all
still want to continue reading?

okie

first,i went out for breakfast at 6 something in the morning
had never tried this
riding my scooter early in the morning in kampar
first try
is so windy and the air was so fresh

second thing
i had two midterms in the same day
Counseling skills, i had tried my best and hope that i can score
Introduction To Japanese, i got scared when i first look at the past final exam question
and today i went in without really much preparation
am glad that i still able to get a 9.5 out of 10.
happy.

nothing much on this day
after midterm
assignment deadlines and also presentation

all the best to all my dear coursemates
all the best to all my friends too^^
with love 11.11.11 <3

谢谢你

在这里

我要感谢以为朋友

他是我来到金宝

才认识的一位朋友

为什么想要感谢他呢？

因为他让我感觉到

我存在在这个世界是有用的

以前的我

不断的寻找一些人

不断的对人家好

不断的想要人家认同我

相信我

但是。。

好像没有遇到几个

严格来说

在金宝，他是第一个

就连我真的很在乎的那个人

也从来都不对我说出他的心里话

朋友

我想说

谢谢你

跟我分享了那么多

还有愿意相信我

我答应你

我会尽量帮你的

谢谢了

以前的我

人家都会说我鸡婆，八卦

所以让我渐渐的离开人群

不去追问别人不想告诉我的事

现在想想

算了，知道还有愿意相信我

我真的很开心

不知道你会不会读到我的部落各

但是还是要说

朋友，谢谢你

感觉很好

顺便，

还有一个她

也很相信我

告诉了我很多她的秘密

你会读到我的部落各吗？

谢谢你啦

今天怎么了

今天怎么了？
怎么就开心不起来呢？
感觉就是怪怪的
怎么了啦
心里在想些什么呢？
哎哟哟。。。
我也不懂啦
明天又考试也
下星期也忙啊

不要那么没心情好吗？
我还要读书的也
要收拾好自己的心情
加油啦。

is this

is this a kind of retribution?
am i receiving a retribution for trying to get away from someone who care for me?
why am i being so cheap on myself?

people that treat me nicely
i avoided
at the same time
i get my face stick to those who dont bother
to care
to concern
to appreciate

from now on
i guess
i need to do something
on myself
be myself
just myself
i dont need other to care for me
i dont need other to concern me
i dont need anyone to appreciate me
i am just myself
being myself for who i am supposed to be
i had done my part
and is up to you who make a judgement
whatever judgement it is
i am not going to bother

to : tan zongyan
is really time for you to grow up
mind you
you are already 20
no longer a secondary student
stop being silly
stop being stupid
stop being too kind
reject whenever you think you are not oblige to do things requested
you are not saint
how much effort you had put in
there will be people who will just make judgement on you
you are not going to be appreciated from everyone
just be yourself
be strong
dont cry
live for yourself

一天又过了

是怎样啦
明明知道考试时间要到了
今天的我
下午出门找朋友
回到家看偶像剧
看着看着
晚餐时间
吃了继续看
看了好久好久
真的有点受不了自己
干吗那么懒惰啊
明天不可以在浪费时间了啦。。
TT

不一样了。。。

我的部落各不一样了
颜色不一样了
从黄黄的
便成白白的了

看起来舒服多了
也提醒了我
凡事都要保持

。。冷静。。

改一改自己的脾气
凡事要与包容的心态
去对待
面对自己不怎么爽的人
的时候要用

。。微笑。。

来带过
切记切记
不能让自己的表情
出卖了自己

包容与微笑
不代表我在伪装
只是不想让局面过于难看
想要保留我们之间的友谊
毕竟
朋友，相与也不是简单的事
没有一定的缘分
因该不会认识到对方吧

改变自己
今天开始

下雨天

怎么了啦
每天都下雨
很讨厌啦
因为下雨
整个人的心情
变得郁闷了

什么都不想做了
懒惰到一个点了
跟自己说过
不行，不能这样的
但是
真的没有心情啦

午餐到现在
都没有吃
算了。吃饼干好了

><

university life...

what does a university life for others look like?
is it similar to mine?

kind of wondering about this.
i like to join activities.
i like to work together with others.
i like to mix with new people,new friends.
at the same time,
i miss my home.
i miss my family.

looks like this are totally different case.
but when activities happened to be carried out during semester break.
what do you think?
i need to spend about 6 hours journey to get back to my hometown.
besides that, the semester break is so short.
time to spend with family members also shortened.

really in a dilemma now.
should i join RCM or shouldnt i?

how do you define U life?
is it normal to be in this situation?
in U life,does it mean we should be more independent?
not to rely from family member too much?
i suppose it is.

have to make a phone call back home tomorrow.
have a chat with mum.
see whether she have got any opinion for me to stay in kampar
although it is my semester break.

all the best people.!!!

being human

being a human

we should live for ourselves

being ourselves

and not to live for others.

well,this might be true

no doubt

but

to me

no one can actually survive

by being alone

life continue

even a person left us

yet

we need others to be with us

hence

i will not hesitate

to be there for you

because

i wont know 

when 

where

i might need you

to be my side too

cherish me 

when i am around for you

i will cherish in return

appreciate those

who had been 

with me all this while ^^

goodnight people.

我大声笑了

在不久前
yinhuie回到家
告诉了我他们的assignment要做的产品。
猜猜看是什么？？
。。。
。。。
。。。
尽然是女生的内衣裤><
有一点感觉无言。
继续问他
他们要怎样improve那个东西。
然后自己又加盐加醋的。
然后又像个傻瓜
狂笑不停
好像有点缺氧@@

好不容易
我不笑了
会想了一下
有多久了
我最后一次这样狂笑呢？
好像很久没有这样笑过了。
感觉很不一样。
突然觉得自己的狂笑
是假的

我真的那么开心吗？
我的笑，是因为真的好笑
真的开心吗？
是真的吗？

我自己也不清楚
只是知道自己现在觉得很寂寞
很孤独
加上一点压力
心情好乱好乱
assignment要开始了
考试要到了
presentation也不远了。
还有一些还没完成的活动
怎么办呢？

我能应付的来吗？

真的。
我自己也不知道。

希望我和幸福的约定能够实现。。
大家。要幸福哦。

broke my promise.

i had swear that i should put in much effort in my studies for this semester.
not going to do last minute work like last semester.
i tried to do my revision. i tried to manage my time well.
well,at least for this 2 weeks i managed to do so.
 but then,i still don't really understand what am i reading actually.
trying to understand the whole syllabus but not memorized.
i tried very hard...

till today. i actually skipped my japanese class.
the class suppose to start at 8am and end at 12pm.
i actually sneak back at 10am.
what the...feel guilty now TT
gonna at least revise something today.
if not i am going to be eaten up by my guilt.

all the best people.

we can do it^^

SUNNY DAY

RAINY DAY

happy deepavali to all my indian friends.

today is deepavali. 

although i am not celebrating but i am happy as i have got a holiday.

^^

in the past few days

keep on raining almost everyday

most of us have to cycle in the rain

today is such a wonderful day

no on schooling and the sun seems to be very happy with this

the sun shine so brightly

although once in a while

the sky turns grey

but no rain drop at all

kind of hot

hope in the coming day

the rain only comes at night while everyone is sleeping tightly

not on day time while everyone is rushing for classes

no main point for this post

just suddenly remembered that

everything is unpredictable as we are all mortal

do whatever we can 

that's it

we can do it^^

开始温习

这个学期

我们只需要上课7个星期

然后就要考试了

所以就在空闲的时候

把握好时间

温习功课

我有在努力着

哈哈

希望在这忙碌的学期里

我还能够

把功课搞好

朋友们加油啊！！！

享受和你们在一起的时光

当然没忘了我的家人

还有在为了未来而打拼的朋友们

加油哦！！

想念过去。

听着这首歌

不知不觉得想到了过去

过去的回忆

开心的

悲伤的

。。。

好多好多

想念那时候的我们

想念那些朋友

在一起说说笑笑

玩闹疯狂

想念

大家要加油哦。

为了我们的梦想，绝对不要放弃。

*回忆是完美的。

*开心的回忆值得我们去思念。

*悲伤的过去虽然说最好不要去想念，但是也可以成为我们前进的推动力。

*加油朋友。

here i am^^

stop blogging for a few days.
been busy with attending classes and meeting.
some sort of gathering as well.
have not phoned back home for a few days.
tonight going to make a call.
if not,i guess my mum will call and start nagging again.

kind of happy as i met with a number of new friends through RCM.
the first week of second semester,mood swing quite often.
but still i am satisfied with what i had have.
try learning to let down.
not everything is under our control.
i am trying to do it.
and yes, doing it.
^^

nothing special to write here.
just recall that,after mr yusuf class last tuesday.
i found out that i start to think more positively.
do things that i wanted to do.
not to wait.
and be more positive thinking^^
this semester is fully book.
got to be busy, but i enjoyed it.
gonna enjoy it.
to my groupmates for assignments, team for events,hope everything run smoothly.

fight fight fight.

真的是完美的一天

开学的第二天。

没什么大问题。
只是需要早一点起床。
因为第一堂课是在早上八点><
跟上个学期一样。
第一堂课很精神，还很开心的走道BLOCK K，想在那里吃午餐。
上课了。。。
MR YUSUF让我笑了差不多一个小时。
够力吧~~
。。。接下去上了两堂课直道6.30pm。
天空的乌云。。。
让我有了动力。
骑脚车骑的很快也没事。
去了PHOTOSTAT店，然后买了晚餐。
过不久，又骑脚车去到了西湖。为了开会。
。。。下雨。。。
。。。开会。。。
雨停了，在要回家时发现脚车TYRE PUNCTURE。

真的很无奈。
拼了命的骑着脚车从西湖回到东湖。
整个人感觉缺氧。
感觉头晕。
又要花钱了。

真的是完美的一天。
没有玩死我不开心是不？

突然压力来了。
我不能够朗自己太过压力。
要把这些压力都化成推动力。
加油！！！

新学期的第一天。

今天的课是四点开始的。
但是因为需要带我家乡的邻居到学校报到，所以大约八点就出门了。
谢谢peyling,peyyng的爸爸，因为他载我们两个去学校。
带她走走熟悉学校的环境。
给了学费-->拿时间-->报道-->我去捐血-->带她去给成绩什么的-->吃了午餐去拍照片（没有拍成）-->带她去买了脚车。
任务完毕。
希望她能够适应这里的环境。
回到家大约是三点。
过不久就赶着回学校去。
四点有课。
新学期的第一堂课，日语。
一个我完全不认识的语言。哈哈。虽然偶尔会乱用日语的说。
上课时间是三个小时，今早回。
大约上了两个小时的课，我笑了整要两个小时。
如果打扰到你们，很对不起的说。

开学的第一天就下大雨。真的够力到。

下这雨骑着脚车，
真的。我只能够说，很狼狈==
突然超级想家的。
回到家，没有晚餐。
还要马上洗衣服，
然后洗澡。
真的是累人的一天。
但是，还需要温习日语，不然肯定会忘到完。

老天，你几时才要停止哭泣呢？
我还需要到外头买晚餐的。
拜托你，等等晚上当全部人睡了再哭好不？
无奈但是又很开心的一天。

*今天真的有开心到*

new semester

officially the time now is 1.13am of 17/10/2011
which means the first day of my new semester.
the second semester for my university life.
dont know what to say actually.
although am no longer a newbie,
but i still got a little bit of worry.
the first tutorial class for my new semester is a foreign language.
gonna take japanese for this semester.
kinda worry that i cant cope with this subject ><
hoping that everything gonna go smoothly.
besides language,am taking 2 main subjects also.
7 weeks gonna pass very fast.
no time for me to really enjoy.
TAN ZONG YAN, remember you have to maintain your results.
no matter what or how busy you might be
you got to put more effort in your studies.
all the best to myself ,friends and most important,my family too.
god bless^^

cheer..

15/10/2011

the last saturday that before next semester start.

woke up kinda late this morning.

at about 11am.

did it purposely because i got nothing to do even if i wake up early.

had bread as my breakfast.

... ... ... nothing special to talk about.

realized that i have not phone my aunt.

called her,

she told me that she feels better.

i know she dont want me to get worry for her.

hope that she is really feeling well.

kind of happy for her.

brought her good news from me too.

told her my results. hope that she feels proud of me^,^

my first attempt on ABC soup for dinner.

the product is still acceptable.

except that i still dont know how to estimate how much ingredient to put in as i were the only one having the dinner.

haha.

... ... ... oh ya..thanks chuishian and cheepherng..my new friends for going to tesco with me.

haha. 

evening went to have badminton with cheepherng. outdoor badminton.

is hard. but i enjoyed..at least i exercised myself.

haha.

... ... ... nothing to do.

boring. i guess is time to sleep.

awaiting for new semester to start.

i wanna take new photo to change my FB profile.

haha.^^

god bless people..^^

how old am i?

time flies as i mentioned.

these are a few photos taken by myself when i were too boring.

dont know why i like these 3 pictures so much.

let talk about the first one.

one of my friend asked me whether i went for plastic surgery after seeing this photo.

my first reaction was 'huh??'

'what do you mean?'

he said my eyes look bigger and i look like only 15years old. ><

second photo was taken in midnight.

3am if not mistaken.

haha.

got a bit crazy.

but i like the hairstyle so much ^^

third one.

look cool.

am i?

haha.

shiok sendiri.

but still like it. maybe due to the pose.

haha. can go for modelling?

haha.

many people say i look young.

do i really look that young?

i wonder if i should feel happy or not.

i want to look at least equivalent to my real age.

i dont want people to take me like i am still a secondary student.

==