gonna sit for my last paper tomorrow
which means my second semester in university life comes to an end
i should feel happy because i got to go back home for a week
although i am having 4weeks break >.<
due to activities
have to back kampar much more earlier than the others
i should be happy dont i?
but what is i my heart
what is in my mind
i dont know
i cant understand myself well
i still couldnt make it
although i had been telling myself that i have to
having mixed feeling this few days
i dont know why
i been telling myself to be independent
not to rely on others too much
dont be dependent
as no one can really stay by your side every second of the days
people do have their own things to deal with
but why i still cant get it
i dont know what kind of person am i
is this my own problem
or everyone facing the problem i am facing
this question pop out in my mind
'what are friends?'
'who are your friends?'
'what do friends do?'
i hate to be a loner
i dont like it
i really dont like it
yesterday went to ipoh for half day trip with a bunch of friends
they give me the feeling of friends
yet i still have that kind of mixed feeling
because i feel like being neglected by the person that i really care
oh my god
i learn this in REBT last sem
i should change this mind set of mine right?
mixed feeling
hope after meeting with that someone i can be better
but i have to control my mood
have to really control it
be strong
be positive
be cool
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