长大了。开学了。开心了。

几天没来写部落格了。。。
今天的我回来了。。。

也不知大想要些什么好。。。
就有种感觉
自己长大了

比如说
以前的我很在意新年红钱会有多少
机会每一天都在算
哈哈
今年新年的我
对红包看得很开
有给我就收，没有没关系
^^

再来就是看开了很多
尤其是友谊
我不在制作了
我不会放弃
但是学会不要太过在意
哈哈
这两天都看到那位朋友
但是-没有打招呼，我真的没有关系了
^^
我心里还有你这么一位朋友
我知足了

新年假期完了
开学咯
开始忙碌的生活了
不能够偷懒
^^
对自己说
还有要快乐度过！！！

大家新年好

gathering 2012

大年初五咯
过去的几天过得还算不错

初一初二其实多数的时间都在家
陪着舅母
跟往年好不一样哦

初三开始
就跟以前中学时期的朋友出门去咯
从早上出到晚
走了几件家
跟那一大半朋友high翻天
真的好想回到中学的时代
哈哈
21岁了的我们，还想小孩子一样
够力!!
真的是很开心的说^^

初四了。。。
很期待，很期待
因为可以看到中六时候的朋友
有一些已经有差不多一年没有见面了
但是
出息的人没有很多
但是还算是开心的了
到了几位老师的家
说说笑笑
真的，我很喜欢我的那些老师啦
有时候会没大没小
但是，老师都知道我们在开玩笑
也没有忘了关心我们
真的

我是幸福的。。。哇哈哈。。。照片来咯。。。
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150618099382594.446349.762547593&type=3

i am back home

reached at bp around 430 in the morning yesterday
continue with my sleep
after waking up, spent one whole morning with my auntie

this time round coming back makes me feel like
i am such a unfilial piety person
my auntie condition seems to get worse
yet i spent most of my time in UNI
especially on last semester break
4 weeks of break and i spent 3 weeks with UNI activities
think back of this
shouldnt i spent more time with her and not those activities?

while taking care of her
think back on what she used to tell others
"i always carry these 2 brothers in hand when we go out"
she used to smile so proudly when saying this
makes my tears roll down
you know what
i felt so energyless when i was trying to carry her up and moved her
i cant show my expression in front of her
got to be strong

wanna tell someone how i feel
yet the person i told seems to like dont care to bother me at all
maybe it is really the time to say bye to this someone
perhaps in this way only that someone will noticed that i had gone
then only that person will remember me

it had been one year since our last gathering
yesterday we had another one at seow's place
not many appear to be there
but still i am glad to see some of the familiar faces that we used to get around with
hoping to have trips and gathering with you guys
i really miss you people very much!!!!!
will upload some of the photos when i got the chance

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!
hoping all the best to people around me
no matter you care for me or not
i shall treat you as someone important to me
because you people coloured my life^^

我要回家咯

我要回家咯
虽然说这不是我第一次从金宝回家
但是不知道为什么就是有一种莫名的感觉
最近听到妈妈说了些舅母的事情
也有通过电话联络了舅母
电话里的声音，听了我都感觉到心酸
但是我能够做的真的不多
能够说的也只是 - 多多休息，不要想太多。会没事的。
这些话
真的不知道我还能够说什么了

今天上了social psychology
里面提到了self fulfilling prophecy
我记得这个实在说什么

我想说这个theory到底是真是假啊？
常常会听到人家都说
一个人如果每天对着镜子说‘我会快乐’
那个人绝对会很快乐
这个也是真的吗？
positive energy - 我尝试了
还在努力着

但是如果一个人的生命已经快要到了尾端
试问人该用什么角度去面对呢？
周围的人又是因该要用怎样的心情去对待吗？
self fulfilling prophecy - 想好的，好事就会实现
是真的吗？
真的是这样吗？
莫名的心情，也许是因为这个消息所造成的吧？
不明，不了，摸不清

希望一切都没事
新年快乐

新年到咯。。。

不知不觉的
我回到金宝
过着离家在外的家半年了
距离我上一次回家也已经是一个月的时间了
终于，今天我要回家了
这次回去是为了过年
过新年
还有跟老朋友聚会
更加重要的是回到家里陪家人

这大半年来
觉得自己做的还不够好
家中的妈妈会时常说我没有打电话回家
不是我不想
而是有时候太忙了
有时候也不知道该说些什么
有时候也不想要有事没事打回家，害怕他们担心

这大半年的我
过得是什么生活呢
自己也不知道
也不明
是开心吗
是难过吗

这大半年了
觉得自己还不够成熟
到了这个年纪的我
还摸不清自己要的到底是什么
说好的要学习独立
不再那么以来他人
说好的不去在乎他人怎样对待我
我做我需要做的，我想要做的就好
但是我做到了吗
这个学期遇见了一位好讲师
他说做人吗
必须要学会 - forgive and forget
这样才不会让自己那么的辛苦，难受
这句话我懂
但是，我几时才能够做到这样呢

我不知道
很多事情我真的还摸不清
尤其是我的心

这个新年的我
真的要长大一些
对有一些事情
药学会不要抱太大的希望
学会用平常心

大家，新年快乐哦
我们一起学习成长吧
对我所在乎的人
就算你们不在乎我的存在
我也只能够说
有是就记得找我
能够帮到的，我会努力去帮你们
真心想要对你们好
你们感觉到吗

大学第一年第三学期开始了

started my third semester in my first year degree in UTAR

kinda busy starting from Sunday itself

attended a meeting together with JK,Kelvin and Esther.

4 of us spent about 4 hours to brainstorm for the activities and the theme for PSYCHOLOGY WEEK 2012

which will be held in week 10 of this semester.

Monday

went to campus early in the morning to donate blood

i think i had lost some weight after weighing

i am not too sure whether is a good sign or a bad one

class till 2pm only, kinda relaxing 

then went to have a badminton game with meikei, yiyi and jing hau

while jennifer spent most of the time sitting there watching us

meeting for PSYCHOLOGY WEEK again at night

8pm - this time is together with most of the committees member

dedicated their jobs and also explained to them what is going on

very fast, another 4 hours passed

went to Beijing lakeside to meet up with Ah Kek

she brought me red wine meanwhile, Steve bought 2 cans of Carlsberg

guess what

i got myself drunk the first time after mixing up Carlsberg and the red wine brought

yet i still know what others are saying and also know what am i doing

head spinning yet i still ride on my scooter to meet up with

Jennifer, Meikei, Jinghau, Yiyi and new friend met, Jason

i was like blur, what i do was eating roti kosong with 3 cups of drinks

went to toilet to throw up for 3 times

and finally i get better of

4am in the morning, i ride on my scooter and get myself back home

Tuesday

surprisingly, i am still able to wake up just in time

to attend class at 9.30am without any sign of drunk or headache

^^

class ended at 11am hang around till 2pm to meet up with JK and Esther 

then togther went to meet with Ms Low and Dr Lee due to the event mentioned above

wasted kinda lot of time

then back home,washed clothes and then went out to work part time

after that hang out at MCD for dinner and blow water with friends

back home and sleep kinda early

Wednesday

6 hours lecture class consecutively started at 8am in the morning

i tried to focus ^^

i tried really hard ^^

class ended at 2pm, then rushed to Block C from Block E to get the ballot thingy done

with very fast pace i reached Block F,thinking of making payment today as well

but due to crowd over there i decided to go back home first

took a nap before going to work

after work went to JK's house to have last round of discussion

after that meet you with jennifer they all again and had my dinner

back home seeing figures and get myself blurred

done with the budget thingy and now blogging

wow! 8am class tomorrow and 4hours consecutively lecture

should go to bed now

hoping that the budget i prepared wont have much to amend

p/s : today from mr sivan's class, i realised that everyone of us changed a lot. especially in myself. to me, everything will be equally same to me. learnt to forgive and forget (forget the bad,remember the best). besides that, i also started to learn to fully utilised my abilities. i believe with my effort put in, i should be able to excel in what i wanted to. these shall be my resolutions in year 2012? 

i dont know but i am trying to be the best of myself. ^^

^^UPR^^PAS^^

14/01/2012 sungkai and teluk intan one day trip

woke up late in the morning and rushed to campus for torchrun preparation
i felt so proud to be in the crew for this event
UTAR is celebrating it's 10th anniversary
luckily everything went smoothly
started and ended in time
i was tired due to few hours sleep only

back home and started to wash my clothes
out of sudden, i received a call from jennifer
saying that 1130am will come and fetch me to go sungkai
i was like 'huh?' 'sungkai?'
i need to wash my clothes, not enough time >.<
again <rush!rush!rush!>
had bread as my brunch

---journey to sungkai---
feel tired
inside car was full with noises from ah yue
she was having a sexy voice

---reached---
we went to the pool where the water is cold
play with slides and normal teasing
fooling around
then had eggs boiled using the water from the hot spring
after that we went to soak our legs in the hot spring
feel like the leg is cooked
then we went to a pool
the degree of water is between 30 to 35 degree celcius
soak ourselves there and met with tourists from japanese
crazy people like us >.< we welcome them with lots of warmth
after that we then went to hot spring
this is kinda hotter
again meet with those japanese tourists
oh my GOD! we took photos together earlier
and now he videotaped us >.<
wanted to send email to us. so he gave us his address =.='''
went back to the cold pool
again..teasing around
accident happened, helen's small toe's nail break
dont know where she got her courage to laugh when the blood is flowing >.<
after brought her to see with first aider,we then went to clean up ourselves

---dinner time---
went to teluk intan to have our dinner
eaten a large amount of food
almost caused me to suffocated
overall the food there is kinda nice
went to menara condong
my first time
haha the lighting effects are nice
i like the colors

some of the photos taken^^

12-13/01/2012 我是双面人

yesterday went for briefing in the morning
after that joined friends with faculty day
spend my whole day in campus
back home in the evening
then went to ipoh with a group of friends that i just get to know during RCM
went to have dinner there and have some walk in the parade
i was laughing like crazy
hanging around with them
back home kind of late >.<'''

today woke up kinda late
out of sudden
received call from ah yue
saying that they reached my house to fetch me
rushed...and had a healthy and worthy lunch with a group of them

had some much laughter
again,went back campus for tomorrow torchrun briefing
then, help to make some preparation for tomorrow thingy
reached home already about 7pm
then again went out to have dinner with freshie and senior
then yumcha session
chit chat and bombing all the while
i was laughing

well, these 2 days i tried to make myself fully occupied
i try to laugh out loud as i can
i try to make everyone laugh too
but the moment i get back home
i feel like, i dont have the sense of belonging
i dont feel like i belong to them
i dont know why,i try to make new friends
i try to get close to people,still
i failed ><

今天的我在吃晚餐的时候说了这样一句话
‘做朋友不用用心的，放太多心下去会让自己伤的更加深’
不知道为什么自己会说出这样一句话
但是，如果可以我想要让自己做到这一点
对人做朋友，不要放太多的心
不需要对人家太好
因为不想要被伤害
我真的伤不起 >.<'''
接受不了再一次被伤害
但是，我还是真的做不到这一点
这样我该怎么办才好呢？

10/01/2012

got my second semester results today.
well, not as good as i expect.
i passed my japanese, got a B+ for my counselling skill and a B- for psychological testing
this make up my gpa with only 3.0471
which also caused my cgpa to drop from 3.4622 to 3.3460
dont have any special feeling over this
i dont really feel sad about it
can only say i can still put in more effort in this coming semester
5 subjects, part time and also events
got to manage my time well, got to increase my cgpa this semester
i have the confidence that i can make it come true
and therefore i will try my very best to make it come true
^^
all the best to all my friends in coming semester
thats all for my results

first day of working at tuition centre
as a student assistant
the moment i step into the centre,i saw my senior albert
haha
he is working there too
entered standard 5 & 6 BM classes
the job is quite relaxing
just translate those BM vocabularies into chinese for those students
just like the feeling of working with children
they are just so innocent
...time flies...
without noticed,i spent 3hours there
earned RM9 today >.<
i know is not much but still i think is kinda worth it
cause i got much more freedom compared to other part time
and the bosses there, ivy and anne are friendly and considerate
although i sometime dont understand their conversation in cantonese
=.= should brush up

after class...8.30pm waited till 9.30pm to go dinner/supper with albert
chat a lot there
past history
somehow got to chat something related to YOU...
well,another sad moment because albert is the second person who told me that he pitied you
another person told me that
'he seems to have a lot of friend yet he dont have much that actually treat him genuinely'
i feel kinda sad over what i had heard
you know what
to me you will always be my brother
and i know you are always so helpful and kind
which makes you easily being used by others
somehow it hurts me
i tried to let you know and always be there for you
i genuinely treat you as friend
as a buddy
as a brother
i dont want to let you feel that i am just trying to use you for any purposes

all the best to me and to you
all the best to my friends too

untitled

random posting of the day
just because i am way too boring of what i am doing now

lets start it off with what happened to me today

woke up kinda late compared to last 2 days
went to campus in my scooter
(because friend woke up late, not enough time to fetch me)
got really no mood in the morning
we were again separated into groups again
met with my group members and also mentor from PMP
wait in waiting room for freshmen to arrive and to discuss about games for them
am really out of mood
dont feel like doing anything
feeling very sick and very down
i dont know know why
just realised that i dont really understand myself
what kind of person am i actually

as estimated
the number of freshmen for this intake is kind of little
therefore some of the helpers like me may not have the chance to lead for campus tour
got into heritage hall to actually wait for freshmen
and continue with the useless discussion for a little while and then
...i ran away...to mix with others in the others group

here come the clown of the day
those freshmen show who they are according to our expectation
they were all so not close
i, THE CLOWN started my job
started to do silly action
started to laugh, shout, jump, sit on the floor, posing for photos
some of them were laughing or smile
i am glad to see that
mixed around from group to group

yet,think back of what i had done
am i really laughing out of happiness at that time?
i dont know
i dont feel the happiness
when people jokes i laugh too
is it really because of the joke is funny or just follow others to laugh?
i dont know. i dont understand myself

finally,all groups set off to campus tour
i was supposed to stay for lunch
a girl came in on time,she was alone
then i lead her for the campus tour before catch up with sam and ah fai's group
then joined them
along the way i tried to help and talk a lot to freshmen
...nothing special...

everything ended at about 3.30pm and back home
i am again alone in the house
after bathing, sleep
woke up is already 7pm. alone, i am lazy.
skipped dinner and listening to this song for dont know how many times
keep on repeating

and reading online newspaper
blogging. seems like life goes back to the past
being alone
being not appreciated
being felt like i am annoying
acting all the while...

sometime i really dont know who am i
what i want
i am confused!!!

小丑回到家了。。。

忙完了今天的RCM
继续待在学校疯
帮忙搬椅子桌子
准备明天的campus tour
然后跟了8位朋友去吃饭
jennifer,evelyn,yiyi,you,xiaozhu,holiday,jinhao和laifu
去了东海
吃了晚餐
因为倒掉了一杯水
孙变买了十二块的马票
水=财
还有我们新发明的游戏
看我们几个到底能够安静几久
成绩是。。。
最多只有五分钟
没办法，因为xiaozhu有在的关系
当让也是因为ah you也在。。。
哈哈

回到了家，又是自己一个人

今天算还好
新生也比较多
忙得蛮开心的

但，还是有让我沉闷的事情发生
因为昨天你跟我说道你也要生病了
所以就煮了barley水
想说可以去热
谁知道，你一口也没有喝
说了些话
然后你就急忙的走了
不知道你在忙些什么
好吧，没关系
那barley水，我倒掉了

这是我第一次这样做
以前的我虽然想过，但是都没有机会
真的是有一点难过
你不要，我也没办法说什么
只能够说
希望是我想太多
哥，谢谢你让我认识了你
谢谢你在哪两个月的照顾
我会记得你的好
然后，静静的不再靠近你了
就这样吧
也许有一天
我们的关系会回到之前那么好

我想也只能够这样吧
把自己的期望降低，这样得到的惊喜可能会更加的多

2012年1月8日
我决定了
做我自己觉得该做和必须做的事
不会计较值得与否
就这样
做回自己，开心和大家分享
悲伤就在部落格里
写了，哭了就算了

要有跟小丑一样的精神
只记得别人对我的好
然后回报对我好的人

我爱我自己！！！

weird

went out to have dinner with a bunch of juniors and a few new friends that i got to know through RCM
to the coffee shop that i usually visit to in westlake
the place is so familiar to me
yet the feeling is a stranger to me

used to visit there with you
but today, people around me are totally different
dont know how to describe the feeling deep in

remember the day i went to have breakfast alone
at the coffee shop that we usually visit
same situation
the feeling is weird
i dont know why

you are so much important to me
but seems like i am not that important to you
makes me really stressed up when i see you
wonder how should i face you

you treat me friendly and cold from time to time
is that a signal for me to better
stay away from you
as far as possible, at least for the time being?

still remember last few days smsed you saying that i am sick
the response i got from you is
'since you still can sms me means you are still alive'
today you told me you seems to be sick
first thing after i reached home - cook barley water for you
i wonder will you take it tomorrow?
will you accept what i did for you?

i dont know
i really dont know what to do
dont understand what is in your mind

all the best to you bro >.<

累了啦

我很累了
尝试着让自己天天开心
但是开心的人也有孤单寂寞的时候
开心的人也是需要被关心在乎的

昨天在学校整天
感觉就有一点不舒服
感觉全身热热的
发热了吗？
听完了briefing,回到家
想都没想
冲了凉，吃了药就睡觉了
一睡就睡了12个小时
晚餐都没有吃
真的很不舒服
睡到一半醒来上厕所时
整个人好像要晕倒了
第一次有这种感觉
很难过
开心不起来
想说信息他，看看他是否会关心一下
也写在面子书上了
但是
我真的那么不重要吗？
今天早上醒来
感觉好多了
勉强自己开开心心的玩闹，大笑一整天
。。。
伪装

回到家了
把自己弄得好忙
1. 不想让自己想太多
2. 不要让自己觉得自己没用，生病了还是可以做很多事的
熨了明天要用到的衣服
洗衣服，晒衣服
冲凉
准备晚餐
然后上网

本来想说自己会开心的
哪里知道在上面子书到一半
发现自己在朋友墙上写的 ‘生日快乐’ 不在了
怎么了？
被删除了吗？
管他的
算了，也想知道太多
我做了我因该做的

自己开心就好啦

怎么办啊，身体还是热热的
我喝了很多水了也
都快变成水桶了
真的不可以生病啊

陈宗元，加油吧！！！

brand new year, a brand new start

came to study in kampar for half a year already

yet i still not very familiar with places in kampar

especially those shops in OLD TOWN

yesterday 3/1/2012

decided to go to OLD TOWN to have a look

with other purposes too

1. to pay water bill

2. to help steven to post a parcel

3. to buy satin cord for lucky knots

4. to go for interview

before heading to OLD TOWN

very thanks to WENDY CHOONG

because she gave me some idea of the places that i wanted to go

really thanks

although OLD TOWN to me

i a small place, much more simpler than BATU PAHAT

yet i still spent time in locating the LEMBAGA AIR PERAK

locating at a very 'strategic' place i will say

now i know where you are already

thanks to those uncles who tell me the direction

then is SKYNET and THONG MENG

luckily these two places are obvious enough for me to locate.

^^

then, have to thanks WENCY CHOONG again for leading me 

to the tuition centre for interview

thanks a lot.

the interview went kinda smooth

now waiting for call to ask me to go to work

end my one day outing to OLD TOWN

roughly know all the places

haha

thinking of the past

realised that i used to send a lot of greeting message 

to almost everyone in my contact in every occasion

but now

i dont send to anyone anymore

only reply to those smses me

why am i becoming like this?

i dont know

so, i decided to handmade something to my friends

i google searched for tutorial on how to make the LUCKY KNOT

that is why i went to THONG MENG to buy the satin cord

guessed what

i made 40 LUCKY KNOTS for my friends and also those i specially care for

hope that those received my LUCKY KNOT will lucky all the time

^^

happy ending

first of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR to people who are here for me.
happy 2012. a brand new start. good day and enjoy.

have not been here for about a week.
-story begin-

first year of degree life, i was chosen to be part of psychology society as a committee member
well, from what i heard
this society have not been active for long
guess what
i met with a bunch of awesome committees
together we manage to have a trip to penang during our semester break
known as 'PIRATES YOUTH CAMP 2011'
met with some kinds of problem during organizing
feel like kinda of giving up at the beginning
because it is going to ruin my semester break if this event fail
because i have to purposely come back and only enjoyed one week time back in hometown

i made a right decision
i joined this camp/trip till the end
met with new friends
seniors from psychology, senior from ICS and also new friends from biotech
glad to know you guys
the trip ended smoothly
seeing all those status from participants seems like we received kinda good comments from them
seeing them enjoyed in this trip is the best rewards to organiser
it make me feel worth it to sacrifice my semester break earlier and back in kampar this dead town earlier
you know what, i miss the 3 days a lot
undeniable is really tired but i enjoyed the time with you people
makes my life great
you guys brighten up my life
last event, last week of year 2011
what a wonderful fullstop for the year

thanks guys and girls for brighten up my life!!!

committees who attended in this trip ^^

thanks guys and girls
a memorable trip with you people
hope to have the chance to be with all of you again!!!

after the trip,i stayed back in penang
while the continue their journey back to kampar

spent a few days at my uncle's place
really thanks a lot to my uncle,auntie and cousin.
everytime i make a trip there sure gonna caused them some inconvenience
yet they still welcome me a lot
i know you guys love me
you people are just awesome
proud to be one of the family member

this stay back is just like my normal trip back to penang
the first day, went to KEK LOK SI temple as usual
surprised to get to meet with edward, junyong, poahong, kevin, renee, wenxin, kylie and her cousin
such a coincidence
then walked together and chit chat a little
have not seen most of them for kinda long time
then at that night went to butterworth with kwannming, my beloved cousin and his friends
have dinner over there and went to autocity for the first time in my life >.<
walked around and chit chat
kinda appreciate that i have a cousin who kinda of dote on me quite a lot
*shy*

then, the last day of 2011
31st of december 2011
went to visit my other uncles and aunties
thanks cailey for fetching me in her motorcycle
then both of us went to QUEENSBAY
start shopping for my CNY clothes
haha
shop for one whole day
i have to admit that i am getting older
body and leg aches after only a while
haha
met with soonchuan also
sorry yea,shopping with me is kinda annoying because i always ask for opinions
haha

tadaa~~this is what i got for my CNY

as i said, i want something colorful in my wardrobe
therefore no black and white this year
haha
again,thanks cailey for accompany me the whole day at queensbay

there go my second week of semester break in penang
anticipating for coming CNY, gathering with old school friends

thanks for the wonderful memory i have had with all of you!!!
miss you guys and girls a lot!!!

2012, i shall never forget you people!!!