just because i am way too boring of what i am doing now
lets start it off with what happened to me today
woke up kinda late compared to last 2 days
went to campus in my scooter
(because friend woke up late, not enough time to fetch me)
got really no mood in the morning
we were again separated into groups again
met with my group members and also mentor from PMP
wait in waiting room for freshmen to arrive and to discuss about games for them
am really out of mood
dont feel like doing anything
feeling very sick and very down
i dont know know why
just realised that i dont really understand myself
what kind of person am i actually
as estimated
the number of freshmen for this intake is kind of little
therefore some of the helpers like me may not have the chance to lead for campus tour
got into heritage hall to actually wait for freshmen
and continue with the useless discussion for a little while and then
...i ran away...to mix with others in the others group
here come the clown of the day
those freshmen show who they are according to our expectation
they were all so not close
i, THE CLOWN started my job
started to do silly action
started to laugh, shout, jump, sit on the floor, posing for photos
some of them were laughing or smile
i am glad to see that
mixed around from group to group
yet,think back of what i had done
am i really laughing out of happiness at that time?
i dont know
i dont feel the happiness
when people jokes i laugh too
is it really because of the joke is funny or just follow others to laugh?
i dont know. i dont understand myself
finally,all groups set off to campus tour
i was supposed to stay for lunch
a girl came in on time,she was alone
then i lead her for the campus tour before catch up with sam and ah fai's group
then joined them
along the way i tried to help and talk a lot to freshmen
...nothing special...
everything ended at about 3.30pm and back home
i am again alone in the house
after bathing, sleep
woke up is already 7pm. alone, i am lazy.
skipped dinner and listening to this song for dont know how many times
keep on repeating
and reading online newspaper
blogging. seems like life goes back to the past
being alone
being not appreciated
being felt like i am annoying
acting all the while...
sometime i really dont know who am i
what i want
i am confused!!!
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