12-13/01/2012 我是双面人

yesterday went for briefing in the morning
after that joined friends with faculty day
spend my whole day in campus
back home in the evening
then went to ipoh with a group of friends that i just get to know during RCM
went to have dinner there and have some walk in the parade
i was laughing like crazy
hanging around with them
back home kind of late >.<'''

today woke up kinda late
out of sudden
received call from ah yue
saying that they reached my house to fetch me
rushed...and had a healthy and worthy lunch with a group of them

had some much laughter
again,went back campus for tomorrow torchrun briefing
then, help to make some preparation for tomorrow thingy
reached home already about 7pm
then again went out to have dinner with freshie and senior
then yumcha session
chit chat and bombing all the while
i was laughing

well, these 2 days i tried to make myself fully occupied
i try to laugh out loud as i can
i try to make everyone laugh too
but the moment i get back home
i feel like, i dont have the sense of belonging
i dont feel like i belong to them
i dont know why,i try to make new friends
i try to get close to people,still
i failed ><

今天的我在吃晚餐的时候说了这样一句话
‘做朋友不用用心的，放太多心下去会让自己伤的更加深’
不知道为什么自己会说出这样一句话
但是，如果可以我想要让自己做到这一点
对人做朋友，不要放太多的心
不需要对人家太好
因为不想要被伤害
我真的伤不起 >.<'''
接受不了再一次被伤害
但是，我还是真的做不到这一点
这样我该怎么办才好呢？