Saturday, April 20, 2013

我爱上了他。

我爱上了一个 - ‘他’

我们认识了很久很久
一直以为自己很了解他
认为自己很清楚他要的是什么
认为自己明白他想的是什么
结果
过去的几年
自己开始让他放纵
让他自由
让他做他想做的事
结果,他迷失了一阵子。。。

再一次遇见的时候
发现我们已经变得陌生
自己不再了解他
不再知道他在想些什么,要些什么
看着满是伤痕的他
自己慌了
要怎么办呢?

我知道,我依然爱着他

于是,我。。。
再一次的从新认识他
从最基本的了解起
慢慢的,我们变得更加熟悉
了解了彼此想要的
互相的为对方着想
彼此站在对方的处境想想

我们现在过得很快乐
过得很幸福
我们之间,不再有误会
因为了解,因为体谅,因为关怀

慢慢的,他身上的伤痕也慢慢的复原了
看到他脸上的笑容
我知道,他很快乐
至少不是我以为的那么简单
而是他脸上的笑容告诉我的

最后
我想要告诉你
我不会放去,而是会更加的爱你
因为少了你
我不会是原本的自己
相信我,不管以后怎样
我们都会在一起,好好的。。。

我爱你,我内心里的那个自己 <3




Monday, April 1, 2013

happy april fool and I am a FOOL

1st of April 2013
a quarter of year 2013 had passed
what had you did in this quarter of year?

just a few months time
I experienced a lot of thing
from the conversation that I had with a few friends last few days
I had realized and learned that
sometimes I just need to be less affective
being cold and cruel
not to show any emotion

I had been a person who are easily being emotional affected
somehow I don't know how to balance between the feeling of disgusted and grateful

to be frank
I am being grateful enough to the things that both of you had did
indeed, I trust both of you to be a caring friend
yet, things come to a change when we are in a team performing task

I had have enough of the arrogant attitude shown by both of you
you had been acting as if you know everything much more than us
I will appreciate it much more if you would like to share your knowledge to us in a more proper way
can't you feel it yourself?
by scolding
by condemning people's work
by criticise
please stop. we are on same level and i don't need all these attitude from you
by the way, who do you think you are?
all the attitude above don't make you look anyway smarter kid.

all your philosophy kind of thoughts are really nothing if you don't practise it
to quote from you "only friends who bother will speak face to face of your weaknesses."
I agreed to this
but mind you, are you speaking to us?
do you know what is speaking? condemning is a way of speaking,
yet is it appropriate to be used in a friend's conversation?
when you want others to respect you, please show some respect to others too
I am not born here to be scolded by foul language of you
my parents never did that to me, so who are you to do so?
had you noticed that none of us willing to talk about your weakness?
in other words....

meanwhile, I am hoping that you will realize the changes among your friends
the change in attitude and behaviour while we are together
I am no longer the one who will feel sorry
you may leave because i don't intend to have you as well
when you said you felt disappointed on me, I am glad to hear that
because long ago before, I had already stop expecting anything from our friendship

I know you got a lot of friends, you may not need me at all
therefore, don't come to me any further
I don't need you as well

by the way
don't think that I don't know what you had been speaking at my back
not only me
towards other team mates as well
you should know very well
and I don't need a person who don't know how to be grateful towards others work

I am grateful to know you as my friend
part of my Uni life
and thanks for letting me know what friends are
for letting me grow and know how to make a decision
appreciate it very much
you had taught me a lot in these last few months =)