is this

is this a kind of retribution?
am i receiving a retribution for trying to get away from someone who care for me?
why am i being so cheap on myself?

people that treat me nicely
i avoided
at the same time
i get my face stick to those who dont bother
to care
to concern
to appreciate

from now on
i guess
i need to do something
on myself
be myself
just myself
i dont need other to care for me
i dont need other to concern me
i dont need anyone to appreciate me
i am just myself
being myself for who i am supposed to be
i had done my part
and is up to you who make a judgement
whatever judgement it is
i am not going to bother

to : tan zongyan
is really time for you to grow up
mind you
you are already 20
no longer a secondary student
stop being silly
stop being stupid
stop being too kind
reject whenever you think you are not oblige to do things requested
you are not saint
how much effort you had put in
there will be people who will just make judgement on you
you are not going to be appreciated from everyone
just be yourself
be strong
dont cry
live for yourself